Hmm

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YukiKoyama's avatar
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Cleaning out my dA~
This week has been nice, very little homework :] (except French, which is just a nuisance these days) >_>

Andy says my story is too mechanical (It's going in scraps now, just fyi) but I'm not sure how to fix it because it was just the first chapter and explanations were kind of in order..

<3
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xingli's avatar
I was just saying, try to make it all subtle. Like, have something happen that might not be understood, and then explain it. It'll add fluidity and length to the story.